Two “Crises Points” That Kill Marriages

The number of divorced and separated women in the US is on the rise, according to a recent report by Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Marriage and Family Research (NCFMR). The report, titled “Marriage: More Than A Century Of Change” and released on Thursday, July 18, found that 15 percent of women in the U.S. are divorced or separated today, compared with less than one percent in 1920.

According to Barbara Grossman PhD and Michael Grossman MD, authors of The Marriage Map, “There are 2 major ‘Crises Points’ that often spell doom for marriages:

1. When a woman comes to a realization that she wants something different — job, career, personal growth, deeper connection with husband, more voice in marriage — but does not ask for it in a nice or clear way. (Usually happens in 30’s)

2. “Success Trap” — When the man has achieved and grows bored of his career, then he wants more emotional connection.

MAP skills to Save Marriages

Making requests -woman making requests of her desires nicely

Allowing 5 mins of uninterrupted “Sharing Process”

Pausing with hurt feelings to Say “Ouch”

 

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